update on the weddin plannin

what's on today's blog menu? stressin with a side of stress! i can remember a couple specific details about my summer semester 2007. i was an RA this semester at lamprecht hall. i was able to work (aka play) with three of my dearest friends: jenn, lindsaywitt, and brandi jo. most of the memories i hold of that semester are happy times (we'll skip the long gray spot in there from drama, drama, and more drama because that's not the reason for this blog!!) however, for some reason there has been a memory of mine that i had long since forgotten about - that has since reappeared!

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i can remember sitting in the lamprecht hall office with my head resident jenn. we were talking about extremely important things i'm sure. things like diet pepsi tasting better than diet coke, the annoying maker-outer couples, and the obnoxious heat. however, those are not the memories i'm recalling with perfect clarity. i am remembering when my dear friend brandi jo came walking heavily into the office, backpack on, hair done, and ready for class looking stressed and to her patience end. i remember jenn and i turning to look at her as she said, "somebody told me that if you can get through the engagement and wedding planning, you and your fiance can get through anything. is this true??" honestly, i wondered what the big deal was! i wondered what in the heck can be that hard about plannin a party? the most important part of planning is done right? temple preparedness and appointments? i didn't think much more about that statement other than she's got to be a little bit crazy.. and needed a diet pepsi. pronto speed. HOWEVER, here i am two years later remembering her stressed out face and voice as if she just walked into the office a couple of minutes ago.

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i know it is ridiculous for me to complain. everyone has been there or will be there at some point in their lives. tom is being absolutely amazingly and perfectly supportive and as helpful as he can be while living an hour and 40 minutes away. i have been offered help from my amazing mom, sisters, cousins, aunts, future mother in law, sisters in law, and friends. i thank you all for that! it's looking at the reception as a whole that makes my eyes want to roll back and sleep until it's december 17th and my tom is home! things i'm thinking about daily: budget, cake, decorations, color schemes, guest list, tables, set up, take down, lighting, flowers, dress, hair, make up, shoes, veil, his ring, videographer, slide show, engagement pictures, engagement outfits, centerpieces, table clothes, invitations, DJ, food, who will make the food, dessert, candy, candles, life-sized kevin picture, marriage certificate, and transportation. it is a TON to think about - especially while working full time and having to meet sales goals. (which by the way.. brag moment for me.. i am at the top of the teller list at my store for my sales, which translates into i am ranked 22 out of 255 tellers in my region, have only been with the bank for a little bit over a year ... aka, i rock.) so i am a busy little face!!

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most importantly is the temple is already booked for tom and i. we did that first thing! luckily, oh so luckily for me my mama is going to be my photographer. why? because i think she's the best and she thinks shes the best, she'll be free to hire, she'll get the shots i want, and she has to go to the temple anyway so i don't have to bribe her to go. she'll also be taking our engagement pictures and then my bestie 79 melly told me she'd design my invitations so that's freakin rockin too! my dress will be decided on and in my possession by this coming thursday, my cousin christy is doing my cake cause she's m-a-zing, and cortney is picking out the "bridesmaids" dresses. i really am in better shape when i really start writing down all of the things that i don't have to worry about anymore.

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i am determined to enjoy whatever part of life i'm apart of. i have realized that i have a habit of wishing away time. when i was 14 i couldn't wait til i was 16 and could finally drive. once i was 16 i couldn't wait to be graduated high school. once out of high school and into college i couldn't wait til fall semester when i got to come home. once i was home i couldn't wait to go back to school. once back in school i couldn't wait to graduate and have a full time job. now i look back to when i was 14 and wonder what in the world the big rush was all about! the things i thought were so important then -- well honestly i don't even remember what they were! i don't want to look back once tom and i have been married for 10 years and we have babies and work, bills and stress and wish that we were simply engaged and back to planning and dreaming about the rest of our lives. i truly want to enjoy this time that i have to get to know him, to talk wedding and reception plans with him. i am counting down the days until i am his bride, but trying to remember patience and being happy to be his fiance!

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oh, and brandi, sorry for not understanding then. i do now.

my deliciously fabulous weekend

tom came home for the weekend!! yay!! i feel like when he leaves i run all week long on my "love tank" and by the time the weekend comes i'm about running on empty. i see tom, he hugs me so tight and suddenly i feel refueled and ready to take on the world, fight the mafias, and solve all of the world's mysteries. that may be exaggerating a wee bit, but i really feel so energized and so happy!

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tom got to my house around 2 am because he had to work at the fresno vs. uc davis game. once he finally got out of there he got on the road and headed here. once he got here we talked and just simply being in his presence makes me feel so energized!! he got to sleep in our spare room - complete with tinkerbell and the three fairies from sleeping beauty painted on the walls surrounding the bed... haha so funny.

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sunday morning we went to oakdale 1st ward - my homeward - and it was so fun being there with him. i LOVE sitting next to tom in church. singing hymns, whispering our thoughts here and there, holding hands during prayers... oh my heart i love it. he is whoa awesome. after church we came back to my house and took a perfectly delightful sunday nap on the double recliner chair in the family room. we have deemed that chair "ours" because we sit in it everytime he's home. we decided we are going to steal it when we get married so we have a nice chair. don't tell my mom who took it when it goes missing. because it will go missing. and tom and i will love it. sorry mom!

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after our nap we went for a walk over to my grandparents house. i know they love the company and we love talkin with them. i've decided they are so full of simple wisdom. i love how great of an example of love they are. they honestly love each other with every fiber of their beings. they are best friends, buddies, and would do anything for each other. i hope tom and i can pattern our relationship after my grandparents. life will get difficult and challenging, it may not always be easy, but i truly hope we can always turn to each other through good times and bad and come out stronger because of it.

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tom and i went for a walk around the ranch. i showed him at least 15 different locations where my cousins and sisters and i had made "clubs". growing up my cousins and i would let our imaginations grow like weeds. we could take a spiderwebbed, dust covered pile of wood and transform it into an office complete with secret passageways, magical buttons, and a secret hideaway where no one else in the world existed anymore... cow troughs, tire sheds, cattle tracks, storage shops, "junk lane", it didn't even matter - they all were our playground and i cherish those free fun memories.

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that night we got in the hot tub and had such a great talks!! i love how tom and i can talk and talk for hours. we spend all day together, then talk for hours on the phone. that night had a really cool breeze so it was nice to just sit and relax in that hot water. nice? no. deliciously fabulous is a better description for it. it was so relaxing and happy fun. after the hot tub we got changed and then went and stargazed on the trampoline. that is something we have done together since day one. i love that time we have to connect after a long day. so we stargazed for a couple of hours, decided we were tired of swatting away mosquitos and more than a little bit cold so we went inside and went our separate ways and visited dreamland. nice.

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this is our "death glare at the distance between oakdale and fresno" face. i hate that he's so far away!! it's just an awkward distance where we can't visit eachother for the day.. you have to make a trip out of it. however! i am VERY glad that it is only two hours and not more. phewee!! something i learned this weekend: love rocks. it totally does. it makes sad people happy. grumpy people more pleasant. sick people better. it really is the best feeling in the entire universe. thank goodness, i'm not on empty in my love tank anymore. i'm full to the brim. thanks tom! bows!! you the best!!

home

today i'm writing a post.. not because i had an amazing time with tom - cause i didn't.. he's been in fresno all week. i'm not writing because i had a nice relaxing day off from work - cause i worked 6 days this week. i'm also not writing because i feel like sharing anything new - cause there really isn't any new news for me to share!! today i'm writing as a shout out to being home.
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on monday i talked to my dear friend shannon and she told me some sad news. her parents home was consumed by flames in auburn and burnt to the ground. as she told me the few details that she could my heart went out to her and her family. i thought about the pictures and irreplacable belongings that they lost. it thought about their dreams of building that home, the hard work, time, money, and the years it took to make their dream home a reality. i thought about the few times i had been there, and how i mourned the loss of their beautiful home. i simply cannot, nor do i want to, imagine what that must feel like - to lose almost everything i own within a matter of moments.
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after talking to shannon on the phone i started to think about all of the things that i would hope to save if that were to happen to me. my mind went to countless things - it was like a domino effect! i would want my journals and pictures, my "special box" where i keep meaningful notes, letters, and keepsakes. there are countless things that i would want to save and cry over if i didn't. this led me to realize that the most precious things i "own" really are my family, the relationships we have, the love we share, and the memories we keep. it made me realize that even if i don't have my journals or pictures or special box - that though the smells and colors of those memories may fade, the feelings surrounding those special times remain. love is such a beautiful and special thing. it's something that can only be destroyed if we let it.
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i love the chance i have to see my family every single day. to walk over to my grandparents house, walk through their front door and see them sitting in their chairs- always ready and waiting to visit with whomever walks through their door. i love how everyday i walk through that screen door my grandpa calls "friend or foe?" haha. he's so cute!! i love the smell and comfort of being home. i love hearing my mom and dad talking in the next room. i love the sound of breakfast in the morning when i'm not wanting to wake up. and yes i mean sound.. haha dishes are loud when you're sleepy. i love the familiarity of home.
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something i realized while talking to shannon is that "home" isn't just the walls that surround us; it really is where the heart is. that common saying really is true!