not just for time

On January 8, 2010 I married my best friend. It has been a series of happy events that brings me to this blog. It has almost been a few months ago that Tom and I were sealed through the holy power of the priesthood to be together - not just for time, but for forever. I could never have prepared myself for the happiness that marriage brings. There are so many things about Tom that I love. There are things about myself that I have learned that I love because he has brought them out in me.
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I woke up that Friday morning at 4 AM. It was a super early, early time to wake up, but the last thing I wanted was to hit commute traffic and get stuck on the freeway, unable to get to the temple, so I wanted to give myself lots of extra time. I drove through the dark empty streets in Oakdale to get my hair done by Kim. I showed her a picture and she set to work. She did a beautiful job and almost two hours later I was headed home just as the sun was starting to peak over the mountains. I wasn't nervous at all for what was waiting for me later that day, but I was nervous about running out of time and forgetting to enjoy the day for the beautiful one it was.
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I got home and everyone was up and about all in various stages of getting ready. I don't remember what I ate that morning for breakfast, or if I even ate.. I just can't remember. We left my house at 7 AM and headed to the Oakland Temple. I think I prayed the whole time there that traffic would be good. That we wouldn't get a ticket for speeding. That we wouldn't blow a tire. .. and as time passed, that my dad wouldn't fall asleep at the wheel. He takes lots of medicine and one of them makes him drowsy. I wasn't that worried about it until I kept hearing my mom ask him if he was going to be okay and make it alright and he said 'I hope so.' HA! Way to make me feel super about that drive!! You can bet all the other worries about tickets and traffic went away, and instead I was praying for us to get there awake and in one piece.
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We were supposed to be there at 9 AM and we got there at 8:30. I was COMPLETELY fine with getting there early. As long as I was there, it was all good. We drove up the temple parking lot and parked. I turned and looked through the parking lot and saw Tom walking towards our car. My heart flip flopped and suddenly it hit me. We were getting married. For real. Today. I was filled with so much excitement. I can remember it felt like bubbles were in my tummy and my throat. It was a good feeling. We hugged and talked for a little while, then decided to get the show on the road and go inside the temple to get ready.
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Mom went with me to the Bride's Room. Ho-ly. Smokes. The Bride's Room is simply magnificent and breathtaking. They did not leave out any details with that beautiful room. It has crystal chandeliers, crystal knobs on the doors and drawers, gold details along the mirrors and the walls covered with this completely womanly flowery wall paper. It just fits. There is crown molding around the entire room and I can tell you I have never been in any room that makes you feel more girly and more excited to put make up on and look beautiful. It was so perfect in there. Getting married on a Friday I was lucky enough to be the only bride in there so I was able to lay my stuff all over the room. Nice and neatly of course. Mom helped me get dressed and then I went up to the Celestial Room while I assume everyone else was arriving and getting situated in the Sealing Room.

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I can remember walking into the Celestial Room, seeing Tom, who was the only other person in the room, and knowing that this was right. The feeling wasn't accompanied with lightening or thunder, and if there was anyone else in the room, I doubt they would have noticed anything different about me from one minute to the next, but I just knew that this was right, it was good, and this truly is the end of time and the beginning of forever. I got a huge wave of chills even to the roots of my hair. I felt tingly and happy. Tom and I sat on the couch together and talked about the details of the room and talked about forever. As we sat there holding hands in the Celestial Room of the temple, I felt then something that I had never felt before. I can't come up with a word for it, but simply put: i felt so much love, and so loved. About five minutes later a temple matron came and got us and told us it was just about time.
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We walked up a couple of flights of stairs and met with Brother Mortenson, our sealer. He gave us a couple words of advice and told us to think of the Savior while we were getting sealed, for it was only because of Him that we have this chance and opportunity to be with our loved ones forever. He led us into the Sealing Room, and I was hit with such an amazing, overwhelming feeling of happiness and the Spirit and absolute amazement. I saw the people I love most in this world (minus Kev and Timmy and the babes I call Mason, Kady, Grant, Kenz, and Tyler, and some of Tom's family that were unable to be with us in the temple--) To be literally surrounded by the people who you love, and love you, to be in the Temple of God, to know you are there worthy and ready to make a promise to someone forever and ever and ever.. It was just so stinkin cool.
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From where I was, I could see my Grandma Valk's face right over Tom's shoulder. At one point I looked at her, we made eye contact, she winked and mouthed, "I Love You". As long as I live I will never forget that moment. I think the reason why that struck me so hard is because I can remember standing with my Grandma on their lawn behind the swimming pool, and she was watering the lawn back there - and I don't know what we were talking about before or what we talked about after - but I DO remember asking her if she was going to be alive when I got married. I can still remember she was wearing a white blouse with light blue and pink stripes up and down it, and she looked at me and said, "Well of course I am !" I've never forgotten that for whatever reason, and so to see her looking over Tom's shoulder at me as I made that most important decision was just so special. Holding hands with Tom, being able to see all the faces of my family around, and knowing that this promise we were making is not just for time, it really was the happiest day of my life.
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After the ceremony it was hard for me to realize that there had been a change! That that boy I call Tom was no longer some boy - he wasn't just my boyfriend or fiance - he was my husband! I felt so excited!!! We went and got changed and then headed out of the temple to take pictures. Since mom was my photographer I didn't feel pressured or tense about getting our pictures taken. Also, because it was January and the threat of rain is always looming, we went up the Tuesday before when Cort and I received our endowments and took pre-wedding pictures. It was a very good thing we did too because sure enough, almost as soon as we got everyone standing in front of the temple for the big family and friend shot, it started to rain bit fat drops! Surprisingly, I didn't care! Nothing could have ruined my day. I was so happy. I was so excited. Bring on the rain, they say it's good luck anyway, right??

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I don't remember how long we took pictures for that afternoon, maybe an hour? But we were pressed for time because of the rain and I don't know if anyone besides me wanted to be out in the rain. We got a lot of really happy cute shots and that's all I needed. Thanks mom!!

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What would I rate this day? Better than two thumbs up. Six out of five stars. Better than my dreams and "wish I could do that all over again" good.
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just once for me.

On Tuesday, January 5, before the wedding I went through the temple for the first time. All I can say is whoa and wow. I was given a couple of tidbits of advice: Don't try and remember everything. Focus on the spirit. Don't be nervous, everything that is taught is from the scriptures. It's really nothing new at all; you've been taught this all of your life. And you know what? Really pay attention because you get to go through just once for you. Just once for me. One time and every other time is about someone else. I thought that would be a little bit nerve racking!! But it wasn't.. it sounds trite to say, but it really was perfect. Everything they said was true! I'm sad that as time passes my memories of that day are becoming dim but the feelings I had and the spirit I felt while inside those temple walls still burn strong within. I thought the entire thing was so amazing. It was eye opening and humbling and exciting and oh so overwhelming. I loved it.

One moment of that whole day that I know I will never forget is how it felt to hold Tom's hand as he walked me around the corner into the Celestial Room. All I could make out at first was how bright it was. White and yellow everywhere, and then I found faces I recognized in what felt like a sea of new and unfamiliarness... Dad. Mom. Cort. Jenn and Sipa. Kelly and Talmage. Carla. Gayle and Mike, Amy, and Christy. Tom's family and others in my family. It was so special it took my breath away and I felt so much happiness and strength. I think I finally know what it means to say "my heart was full". I went to my Dad and I hugged him and couldn't help but cry. How special and peaceful that place was. Heaven on earth is what it is referred to, and now after being there myself, I completely understand why. If Heaven is anything like the Celestial Room in the temple, I don't know what in the world I would let stand in my way of being there. It was perfect.

There is so much to learn and I love the chance that Tom and I now have to go to the Fresno Temple so close to home.