how things have changed since the babe

I remember when I bought my first car. My Dad gave me a head's up, words of advice, and a warning when he said, "You realize if you buy this car, your bills will never stop right? You will always have some sort of payment to make every month from now on. You'll never be done." .. and he was right! Car payment, car insurance, gas, car washes, oil changes, and maintenance. Just like those words of advice from my Dad, a customer at the bank told me when I first found out I was expecting a wee babe.. "You realize that the worrying will never stop now, right? You will always be thinking of your child in the back of your mind. Everyday. From here on out." Well ok then! I'm doomed to worry. Got it. I'll soon see how true that is.

Since the babe has been growing inside of me I have experienced so many thrills of pregnancy and changes to life as I had previously known it. After I got through the first 3 months of all-day-long sickness, the rest of my pregnancy has been so pleasant! I remember the first kicks and flutters and twists that I felt. I was sitting on the couch in our apartment with Tom. We were watching "Bones" I think..? and suddenly it felt like there was popcorn popping inside my stomach. That popcorn popping feeling grew to actual kicks that I could pinpoint where he was at. The first time Tom felt the baby move was during a Fresno State football game we were watching from our laptop in our apartment. I felt these really soft (what I thought were) kicks and grabbed Tom's hand so he could finally feel our little babe. I figured they couldn't be kicks because they were too rhythmic so I then called them hick-ups.

Now as I am 33 weeks pregnant his once tender kicks now sometimes take my breath away. He can kick so hard sometimes I wonder what the world what exactly he thinks he's doing in there! My rib cage is not a bounce-house, my love, and my bladder is not a ball for kicking! I'm not sure what exactly he's doing in there but I can imagine him spreading his arms out in each direction and just pushing really fast against my sides- and then he stops. And then he does it again bam-bam-bam-bam-bam... and then he stops.. It makes me laugh so hard. I used to be completely content to sleep through the night, full bladder and all.. Now, if I only get up twice I consider it a successful night's sleep. I don't stick out very far in front for being 8-almost 9 months pregnant, and my doctor lady said that I'm carrying him in my back a lot, which I can attest to! My back goes numb every few days.. and it makes getting comfortable a really hard thing to do. My right foot swells so much more than my left. The first day I had swollen feet was Thanksgiving morning. I thought it was a lot of fun that day. Now, not so much. I used to prefer chicken over steak of any kind, any day. Now chicken makes me gag and I crave a good steak. Taco Bell is my current food obsession. So bad, I know!! Tacos, quesedillas, burritos, tostadas, all with some nacho cheese. Delish. I used to be able to give myself a mini pedicure but with what feels like a basketball inside my tummy I can't reach down to my toes long enough to make any kind of progress. Putting on socks and shoes is a bit more difficult and Tom has become my official socks and shoes remover after work. Bless his heart.

Tom has been so extremely patient with me during this pregnancy. He humors me when I'm being (only slightly, of course) ridiculous. He doesn't complain when I don't feel like doing much after work besides relaxing. He makes me laugh when I would otherwise want to cry over the changes that are happening to my growing body and weakening bladder and tear ducts. I have cried over watching flash mobs on youtube and free valet parking at the hospital. He talks to the baby and anxiously feels for the babe to kick back to his nudges. He still tries to hear the heartbeat on the stethoscope, still to no avail. His life is changing as much as mine and I hope I am being patient enough with him. He has been mentioning that his eye has been twitching for the last month or so now.. and I wonder if it's because subconsciously he is stressing out but doesn't let himself worry out loud about it. I know my Heavenly Father has helped me to find someone that could love me through my worst days and cheer me on during my best. How blessed I am to have someone so perfect for me by my side, not just for time, but for eternity.

catch up!

Heads up! Longest Post Ever. I could have separated it into a few segments, but I got to writing and didn't stop for an hour later.. so here we go!!

So I have been really good at being terrible with this entire blogging adventure I started over a year ago. I have to admit it.. I'm way disappointed I didn't keep it up. How am I ever going to remember all the little "specials" that happened in our little lives? I won't.. and that's the sad story part. So instead of putting it off any longer, here I am! I'm going to try to blog again. I figure I'll just start with the neat things I can remember that I don't want to every chance forgetting.

May 2010: Timmy graduated High School on Tom's birthday! We celebrated Tom's birthday the night before because I knew that it might be a little awkward to have a cake and candles at the OHS stadium. ha. I got him an electric shaver that he had been oogling over for a few months. He was so cute - always telling me the pros about this specific shaver over another, why this specific one was such a good buy .. he even went as far as to find a good deal on amazon for me! My bonus check at work came through just in time that I was able to buy it for him a few months in advance so he wouldn't be looking for it on our monthly statements. haha.. I had it sent to work and wrapped it there and kept it in my safe for over a month! So funny. We went to dinner and then when I gave him the box, I'm pretty sure he already knew what it was, but I was so excited to give it to him I cried when he opened it! He was so excited and I think a little surprised I had actually gotten it.. and oh so happy about it. And I, being blessed with the never-shy tears of the Valk Family, I just cried. haha. It was a little weird.



June 2010: The month of our Tender Mercies! Something that I think I have always known, but am grateful to be reminded of once in a while, is that the Lord loves us. Truly just loves us because we are His. He would have no reason for existing were it not for us; His children. So here was our reminder.. Tom and I were living in an apartment complex that wasn't anything special and the rent was just at the top of our price range, so some months it was a little hard to pull that money together. It had the basic's (kitchen and appliances, and four walls to each other room.. except our bedroom only had three now that I think of it) and that was about it. (it did have a shower that had an endless supply of hot water, so that was beautiful) It was lacking in closet space and lighting and it would have been marvelous and even worth the price had it also come with a washer/dryer or at least hookups-- but it didn't. To top it off, it was in party-central across from the Bulldog Stadium so we always had party music blaring by a neighbor or two - and we even called the cops on our next door neighbors one night. Twice in one night that is. Not to mention, directly kitty-corner from frat-house row.. lovely. Needless to say, we were ready to move out. We were apartment hunting, and had it narrowed down to two different complex's.

We have some friends that suggested we go check out their apartment. The day we stopped by they were running a special on a newly remodeled apartment available to be moved into ASAP. It is a little smaller than our first apartment, but it was remodled, felt more like a home than an apartment, further from campus partiers, but close enough that Tom could still ride his bike to class. Not only that, but we are saving $180.00 in rent EVERY MONTH. Hi, that's a lot of money for our one income household. The only issue we had is, in order to get that deal we HAD to move in by June 1st. Our contract at our first place didn't end until July 31. We decided the pros outweighed the cons and we had to move to the new, cheaper apartment. We pulled all of our pennies together and put down a deposit and first month's rent for our new place. This was a huge leap of faith for us because this would mean we had no extra or buffer money for emergencies. Through our Heavenly Father's tender mercy we were able to get out of our contract at our first apartment complex (which they had previously completely refused to do because we had a contract thru July 31.) AND get our entire deposit back too - without any early termination or cancellation fees. There was a scary two week period in there where we thought we were going to have to pay June and July rents on two different complex's, one of which we didn't even have keys to anymore.. So not only do we save 180/month but we got $1200 back into our bank account from our first complex. A-MAZE-ING seriously, amazing.


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November 2010: Fall time is my very favorite time of year. I love the smells, the weather, the holidays, the everything. Oh, ps, and it's my birthday month. I was fortunate enough to pick the week of Thanksgiving for my PTO at work. Awesome!! BUT! What made it even more spectacular was that Jenn and Sipa were able to be sealed for time and all eternity to each other and their three beautiful children. It was such a special moment and I am so thankful that I was able to be apart of it. What a long road they had to travel to get to that point. The love and the spirit in the sealing room was so poignant. How blessed we are that we can have that reassurance that Families can indeed be together forever. This is a truth for the world; that everyone can be blessed with, and yet so few know or believe that it's possible. What is sealed on earth is sealed in heaven. This is our Heavenly Father's plan for us. I'm so so grateful for my chance I have, if I live worthy of this blessing, to be with Tom and our families for eternity.


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February 2011: Tom has been the Student Athletic Trainer for the Fresno State Swimming and Diving team since August.. (when school started) and as part of that assignment he had the opportunity to travel with the team, sometimes taking him away for a few nights at a time. In February one of my dearest friends Jaimie (who has been a nanny in Connecticut for three years now I think?) called and asked me if I would come visit her for 4-5 days!! I thought it was a far our dream because I'd need to get time off of work and money and I really just didn't see how it would work out. BUT it did!! And I didn't even have to feel bad about leaving Tom behind because he had a week long WAC championship meet in San Antonio, Texas. So on a plane I went! Shannon also joined us for our friendly get away to the East and it was so much fun. Really, I love these girls so much.

We flew into the JFK Airport, and (stupid) silly me, NYC in February? Nah, I won't need a coat.. It's 80 degrees in Fresno.. Um hello East Coast COLD! Jaimie let me borrow a coat to keep the chill off. Dummy Dummy I am!! For some really dumb reason I was so convinced that we were going to be attacked in the night by a murderer in the Connecticut hills.. and I could not sleep for two nights that we were there for. I mean seriously?? The house she is a nanny at was built in 1736. It's part of the Historical Society. It was really neat.. but not kidding you.. creepy when it's night time and the girls your in a bed with are sleeping soundly.. and I hear every creak and shudder that this old house sings. bah! It seriously was the worst two nights of my life. So the first morning we went and stood out in the Regis and Kelly line for two hours .. I think we got there at 5? And we didn't even get in. What jerks! We got to go inside and thaw our our bones in the Manhattan Temple. We walked across all of downtown New York I think. We walked to the WW2 Memorials, (also were you can see the Statue of Liberty from) Central Park, Brooklyn Bridge, to a delish and totally legit New York Pizza eatery. I then hailed a taxi all by myself!! It was kind of amazing! They really deserve awards for how they drive. It isn't something that they taught in the driving school I went to! We walked through a riot, which I agreed with what little I heard... we walked around and around. It was really fun. We ate the most delicious bagels I have ever had in Grand Central Station.. and I know I'm forgetting so many things, but the trip was amazing. So fun. and amazing.


April 2011: So Kevin came home from his mission in April. It was a fabulous and oh so sweet reunion. To say that our hearts were full of joy and happiness is quite the understatement. I'm pretty sure the month building up to that plane flying into the Modesto Airport, my family talked about it's arrival. Everyday. No joke, every single day. It's hard to describe the anticipation you feel as you wait; knowing that the two years is over and it's now down to a matter of hours. I know I personally wanted to just yell every time I thought about it. Then as his plane circled above, landed and we watched the door open and waited.. then there he was! He had lost quite a bit of weight because of the health problems he struggled with, so that was shocking to see first hand, but it was still just so beautiful! He hugged everyone, cried a bit, and what a warm welcome it was. It was just so.much.fun. He got to meet Jacen and Tom; the brothers in laws he never knew before hand. (so weird!) What a blessing his service was to our family. Thank you Kevin for your willingness and eagerness to serve.

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In May I was in a wedding for a dear friend of mine. It was a lot of fun, except I have a curse of white legs that I hate. Whatever. But the morning of the wedding I had a really neat/scary experience. I was soundly sleeping (with the aide of an Advil PM, which I never take because I hate taking pills.. but my back was killing me, and I knew the wedding day was going to be long and eventful so I really wanted some sleep) and I woke up with a start. Like someone called my name out loud. I lay there in bed wondering what in the world woke me up when I hear/feel it again. "Get up." I heard the command as real as if someone had actually said it to me, but I more felt it.. it's hard to explain. I rolled over settling into my covers again when it came again. "Get up now." So I didn't think much more about it, I just got up. I turned on the light and opened the door to the "Tinkerbell Room" that I was sleeping in and saw Drew (my sister's almost one year old at the time) sitting on the landing with his back towards the stairs. My heart was already beating fast from the way I woke up, but when I saw him there.. almost as if he was still sleeping my heart stopped and I walked to go pick him up and he was like jello in my arms. I seriously think he sleep-crawled from the room he was in to go to my sisters room and just stopped where he was. I opened the door to Jenn and Sipa's room and gave Drew to them and went back to my room and just laid there while my heart calmed down. I was very humbled by the fact that I had been warned (why me and not anyone else? I don't know) and I responded to the Spirit. I told Jenn what happened the next morning and she couldn't believe it either. Strange.

Tom graduated from the Fresno State Athletic Training Program! It was a bittersweet moment for him. He has spent countless hours working with the athletes of Fresno State side by side with the other students in his program. It was good to say goodbye to the time demand that it required, but it was hard to say goodbye to the friends and colleges he has made during his time there.


Also in May, Tom and I went to Pismo Beach to celebrate his Birthday! It was a lot of fun. We walked on the beach at night and went to their pier in the morning. It was a beautiful cold morning. It was such a long drive for the one night we were there though. To do it again, I would be there longer. We stayed in the stupid timeshare resort I bought in college. That's all I have to say about that. (haha)

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Saturday June 4, 2011: The day we found out the plot to our already really good book was thickening. So Friday when I got home from work I wasn't feeling too good, tried to eat a salad, got really really sick afterwards, showered and went to bed. I felt like I had been hit by a truck. I was sleepy and my tummy felt like I was on a boat. Terrible. The next morning, which was Saturday, Tom suggested that I take a pregnancy test - just to cross it off the list of why I wasn't feeling good. We both thought that it wasn't possible, and that it was probably just my hormones evening out after going off of birth control last month. (I was planning on getting into shape and working on 'me' projects and then we were going to start trying in November/December) But holy.smokes. I took the test, (and I had even taken one the week before, again, just to cross it off the list) and it had two little pink lines on it. (aka, time to go to the doctor, girlfriend!) I just stared at it and put my hand to my mouth- totally unable to speak. Tom just stood there and all he said was "not-uh." and I just nodded my head and started laughing as he looked at the little two pink lines and said "what does that mean!!" We both got a little emotional and I personally had a really hard time breathing for a few minutes, but there it was! The reason why I had been feeling so sick lately. Again, so humbled as I thought of the fact that there was a little tiny "us" working so hard on growing and becoming something. Talk about eye-opening. It was a beautiful morning. I went to work and had a hard time trying to act normal. I didn't want to bend over or lift even a bottle of water to risk squishing our new little babe. (haha, I was so paranoid in the beginning) Tom went to the store and bought prenatal vitamins and they became my worst nightmare for the first few months.


Kevin and Kayleen got married August 3rd. It was such a fun day for all of us! They are so in love and so sweet with each other. I don't have any pictures of their wedding day yet so I'll have to come back through and add some later on. We all love Kayleen so much. She has been so much apart of our family for a few years now, even while Kevin was in Montana. I'll add more to this when I have a picture or two.


I have heard of morning sickness, but for all of June, July and half of August I was so sick to my stomach. I got to the point where I would grade my days on the times I threw up. Nasty. Won't go into this. But it was not pleasant. Nope, not uh.


We are due February 4th, 2011. We are so excited. Still a little bit nervous to see how it will all play out. We find out if we are Blue or Pink on September 8th.

not just for time

On January 8, 2010 I married my best friend. It has been a series of happy events that brings me to this blog. It has almost been a few months ago that Tom and I were sealed through the holy power of the priesthood to be together - not just for time, but for forever. I could never have prepared myself for the happiness that marriage brings. There are so many things about Tom that I love. There are things about myself that I have learned that I love because he has brought them out in me.
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I woke up that Friday morning at 4 AM. It was a super early, early time to wake up, but the last thing I wanted was to hit commute traffic and get stuck on the freeway, unable to get to the temple, so I wanted to give myself lots of extra time. I drove through the dark empty streets in Oakdale to get my hair done by Kim. I showed her a picture and she set to work. She did a beautiful job and almost two hours later I was headed home just as the sun was starting to peak over the mountains. I wasn't nervous at all for what was waiting for me later that day, but I was nervous about running out of time and forgetting to enjoy the day for the beautiful one it was.
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I got home and everyone was up and about all in various stages of getting ready. I don't remember what I ate that morning for breakfast, or if I even ate.. I just can't remember. We left my house at 7 AM and headed to the Oakland Temple. I think I prayed the whole time there that traffic would be good. That we wouldn't get a ticket for speeding. That we wouldn't blow a tire. .. and as time passed, that my dad wouldn't fall asleep at the wheel. He takes lots of medicine and one of them makes him drowsy. I wasn't that worried about it until I kept hearing my mom ask him if he was going to be okay and make it alright and he said 'I hope so.' HA! Way to make me feel super about that drive!! You can bet all the other worries about tickets and traffic went away, and instead I was praying for us to get there awake and in one piece.
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We were supposed to be there at 9 AM and we got there at 8:30. I was COMPLETELY fine with getting there early. As long as I was there, it was all good. We drove up the temple parking lot and parked. I turned and looked through the parking lot and saw Tom walking towards our car. My heart flip flopped and suddenly it hit me. We were getting married. For real. Today. I was filled with so much excitement. I can remember it felt like bubbles were in my tummy and my throat. It was a good feeling. We hugged and talked for a little while, then decided to get the show on the road and go inside the temple to get ready.
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Mom went with me to the Bride's Room. Ho-ly. Smokes. The Bride's Room is simply magnificent and breathtaking. They did not leave out any details with that beautiful room. It has crystal chandeliers, crystal knobs on the doors and drawers, gold details along the mirrors and the walls covered with this completely womanly flowery wall paper. It just fits. There is crown molding around the entire room and I can tell you I have never been in any room that makes you feel more girly and more excited to put make up on and look beautiful. It was so perfect in there. Getting married on a Friday I was lucky enough to be the only bride in there so I was able to lay my stuff all over the room. Nice and neatly of course. Mom helped me get dressed and then I went up to the Celestial Room while I assume everyone else was arriving and getting situated in the Sealing Room.

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I can remember walking into the Celestial Room, seeing Tom, who was the only other person in the room, and knowing that this was right. The feeling wasn't accompanied with lightening or thunder, and if there was anyone else in the room, I doubt they would have noticed anything different about me from one minute to the next, but I just knew that this was right, it was good, and this truly is the end of time and the beginning of forever. I got a huge wave of chills even to the roots of my hair. I felt tingly and happy. Tom and I sat on the couch together and talked about the details of the room and talked about forever. As we sat there holding hands in the Celestial Room of the temple, I felt then something that I had never felt before. I can't come up with a word for it, but simply put: i felt so much love, and so loved. About five minutes later a temple matron came and got us and told us it was just about time.
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We walked up a couple of flights of stairs and met with Brother Mortenson, our sealer. He gave us a couple words of advice and told us to think of the Savior while we were getting sealed, for it was only because of Him that we have this chance and opportunity to be with our loved ones forever. He led us into the Sealing Room, and I was hit with such an amazing, overwhelming feeling of happiness and the Spirit and absolute amazement. I saw the people I love most in this world (minus Kev and Timmy and the babes I call Mason, Kady, Grant, Kenz, and Tyler, and some of Tom's family that were unable to be with us in the temple--) To be literally surrounded by the people who you love, and love you, to be in the Temple of God, to know you are there worthy and ready to make a promise to someone forever and ever and ever.. It was just so stinkin cool.
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From where I was, I could see my Grandma Valk's face right over Tom's shoulder. At one point I looked at her, we made eye contact, she winked and mouthed, "I Love You". As long as I live I will never forget that moment. I think the reason why that struck me so hard is because I can remember standing with my Grandma on their lawn behind the swimming pool, and she was watering the lawn back there - and I don't know what we were talking about before or what we talked about after - but I DO remember asking her if she was going to be alive when I got married. I can still remember she was wearing a white blouse with light blue and pink stripes up and down it, and she looked at me and said, "Well of course I am !" I've never forgotten that for whatever reason, and so to see her looking over Tom's shoulder at me as I made that most important decision was just so special. Holding hands with Tom, being able to see all the faces of my family around, and knowing that this promise we were making is not just for time, it really was the happiest day of my life.
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After the ceremony it was hard for me to realize that there had been a change! That that boy I call Tom was no longer some boy - he wasn't just my boyfriend or fiance - he was my husband! I felt so excited!!! We went and got changed and then headed out of the temple to take pictures. Since mom was my photographer I didn't feel pressured or tense about getting our pictures taken. Also, because it was January and the threat of rain is always looming, we went up the Tuesday before when Cort and I received our endowments and took pre-wedding pictures. It was a very good thing we did too because sure enough, almost as soon as we got everyone standing in front of the temple for the big family and friend shot, it started to rain bit fat drops! Surprisingly, I didn't care! Nothing could have ruined my day. I was so happy. I was so excited. Bring on the rain, they say it's good luck anyway, right??

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I don't remember how long we took pictures for that afternoon, maybe an hour? But we were pressed for time because of the rain and I don't know if anyone besides me wanted to be out in the rain. We got a lot of really happy cute shots and that's all I needed. Thanks mom!!

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What would I rate this day? Better than two thumbs up. Six out of five stars. Better than my dreams and "wish I could do that all over again" good.
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just once for me.

On Tuesday, January 5, before the wedding I went through the temple for the first time. All I can say is whoa and wow. I was given a couple of tidbits of advice: Don't try and remember everything. Focus on the spirit. Don't be nervous, everything that is taught is from the scriptures. It's really nothing new at all; you've been taught this all of your life. And you know what? Really pay attention because you get to go through just once for you. Just once for me. One time and every other time is about someone else. I thought that would be a little bit nerve racking!! But it wasn't.. it sounds trite to say, but it really was perfect. Everything they said was true! I'm sad that as time passes my memories of that day are becoming dim but the feelings I had and the spirit I felt while inside those temple walls still burn strong within. I thought the entire thing was so amazing. It was eye opening and humbling and exciting and oh so overwhelming. I loved it.

One moment of that whole day that I know I will never forget is how it felt to hold Tom's hand as he walked me around the corner into the Celestial Room. All I could make out at first was how bright it was. White and yellow everywhere, and then I found faces I recognized in what felt like a sea of new and unfamiliarness... Dad. Mom. Cort. Jenn and Sipa. Kelly and Talmage. Carla. Gayle and Mike, Amy, and Christy. Tom's family and others in my family. It was so special it took my breath away and I felt so much happiness and strength. I think I finally know what it means to say "my heart was full". I went to my Dad and I hugged him and couldn't help but cry. How special and peaceful that place was. Heaven on earth is what it is referred to, and now after being there myself, I completely understand why. If Heaven is anything like the Celestial Room in the temple, I don't know what in the world I would let stand in my way of being there. It was perfect.

There is so much to learn and I love the chance that Tom and I now have to go to the Fresno Temple so close to home.

goodbyes and changes.

"We'll Miss You Brittany!!"

Well let's be honest, who wouldn't?? haha, jk. This is the cake that my friends at work brought me for my last day at Wells Fargo. It was delicious by the way. Thanks guys!!!

i really hate goodbyes. there is nothing about them that attracts me. i don't like change and i don't like moving on. i love getting to know people, growing together, laughing and learning about the people i'm around. i really do love it. i am really starting to see a pattern that i'm not sure i love - or even like.

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high school - loved my friends and had so fun. i'll never say i was popular, but i did have my group of friends that i was with every single day. i am "mustang born, mustang bred, gonna be a mustang 'til the day i'm dead". i loved oakdale high school and wouldn't have wished to go to any other high school in the world. i graduated, had to say goodbye to my family and friends, moved to idaho. hated it for months. and was so sad for a long time.

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college - i loved my roommates and friends. i still missed home, but was still having a blast. here's how it went for me... meet new roommates. awkward. love roommates. semester ends. say goodbye. sad. new semester. meet new roommates. awkward. love roommates. semester ends. sad. a couple job changes in there, some roommates never changing and loving them still years later. semester ends. say goodbye to BYU-I. sad. sad. sad. i loved rexburg. it was bitter cold a lot of the time, but it was a good place for me to "grow up."

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work - my first after graduation job. Wells Fargo Bank and i l-o-v-e it. the people i worked along side with for a year and three months became some of my really close friends. i spent more waking hours with them then i did with my own family. and this is what my blog is mostly centered on today. i have applied at wells fargo's down in fresno and am waiting to hear if i got a job or not.. but i feel really hopeful. here are only a few pictures of the people i worked with at the oakdale branch. people who i will never forget. i didn't bring my camera in soon enough to get pictures with all of them, but the ones i did get, enjoy your moments of fame on my blog. (wink)

this is ashley. she and i actually met in 7th grade. she and i weren't ever really super close friends, but we were friends. when i came to work at Wells, she already had two years up on me!! She was my instant friend at work teaching me the ropes of being a teller. thank you girl.

this is my girl jaimie!!! i was super super afraid of her when i first started. i thought she was so snobby, mean, and scary. i was seriously terrified to "shadow" her to learn how to work the system. after a few months i realized how FUNNY this girl is. she is so sassy and really doesn't give a care what anyone thinks about her. she made me laugh harder than almost anyone in my whole life. she has the funniest and craziest stories. tammi would rarely let us sit next to each other cause we would just talk and talk. we had the best chats. she was my closest friend at work and i felt like i could tell her ANYTHING!!

well, this is alison. this is the girl that has to try and fill the gap i'm leaving when i transfer down to fresno. :( my manager tammi hired her when she knew that i would be leaving so that i could train my replacement. what a sad day. i thought i would maybe hate her for filling the gap i would leave here but she is such a funny loud girl. i love her. i really enjoyed training her and getting to know her. she's a crazy one, but she's awesome.

and this is my girl lisa!! she is "ghetto fabulous" as she claims. this is a bad picture of us both, but it is the only one i have. she is SO FUNNY. she is constantly dancing, singing, and talking all gangsta to everybodys. she has these hand motions with everything she says. she has this ghetto talk accent and i love it. haha oh man lisa there is just nobody like you!! bon qui qui doesn't stand a chance next to you. haha

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everything in my life is changing. i am getting MARRIED. i'm moving to a new city, new apartment, new job, and new location. i won't know any neighbors, where the grocery store is, where my work is, or anybody at church. my family and nearest friends will be an hour and forty five minutes away. it is a scary time in my life and i feel like i am constantly stressing over all of this. tom is the only rock solid in my life as i take on a whole new change. i'm thankful that he is there to support me as i'm getting so nervous. the only thing i'm NOT nervous about is getting married. i'm totally down and ready to do that!! i love tom so much and can not wait to be his eternal companion!! now if only i could feel that good about all the other changes taking place.

moving to fresno

Oh my world!! It has been forever since I posted a blog!! Let me express my apologies to my most devote readers (aka Tom) that have been urging me to write another post; for it has indeed been an awfully long time. hahaha I love you Tom, and here you go - finally a post to read. I hope it's up to your expectations after not having a post for so long!! In a nutshell I am so happy. I am slowly making my way towards forever-ness. There are days where I am so stressed and not knowing how I will ever make it to January, there are days where I am moody from just thinking about all of the plans that still need to be finalized. .. and then there are days like today, where I feel so blessed to have so much done.

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I really have had so much help with the wedding plans and preparation, I can't even begin to think about it. How grateful I am to my sisters who have planned a bridal shower, where I was showered with SO MANY awesome kitchen gizmos and gadgets that Tom and I will definitely benefit from. How unspeakably thankful I am to my mom who has made so many phone calls and almost exhausted her resources with her co-wedding vendors to help Tom and I out for our big day. There is so much that still needs to be done, but today I am remembering my dear mother and sisters.

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Wedding plans are coming along and things are really starting to fall into place, feel a little bit more finalized, and take shape. Life has been a roller coaster ride these last couple of months but it has sure been fun! Currently I'm taking a break from typing out wedding invitation labels. What a time consuming job that is! Not only do names have to be spelled correct, but I was realizing that there really is no room for error when typing addresses!! If I type one number wrong then there are three problems immediately. #1 someone is going to be very confused when they get a wedding announcement from me; someone they may not know. #2 someone that i do know may be sad when they think I forgot to announce to them that I am indeed getting married to my bestest friend Tom. and #3 I will be sad when they don't show their faces to me on that very special day. SO!! I am having to be so careful as I type all of these lovely little addresses.

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Tom has moved into what will soon be our own little love nest!! It was a hassle indeed, and I'm sure from now on I will handle all apartment office visits/maintenance requests. Our apartment was indeed in need of help when he first moved in. The caulking of our shower was gone which made it painfully easy for water - lots of water - to slip to the bathroom floor, almost unnoticed until you stepped into a pool of water after being done with your shower. The shower door frame is covered with mold, and we have two shower doors - which is lovely - but they are two of the same doors - so they do not slide very well, and there is a towel rack on the inside of the shower door right where the water head is, and also on the outside of the shower where I believe it belongs. The bathroom door was splitting into three separate parts and has a huge crack in it where I think that the previous tenant punched it maybe .. or knee'd it when he was going to the bathroom?? I just don't know. The front door has had three previous dead bolt locks drilled and covered with metal plates up and down the door. The front door is also splitting into three different sections and the door handle doesn't completely latch into the door frame. lovely. And if it does latch completely into the door frame then a strong cute guy I like has to force it open to get through it. Underneath our kitchen sink the previous tenants removed a pipe, which made it so easy for water to pour onto the cabinet underneath that sink. There are dots forming, which look crazy similar to mold in our kitchen utensil drawer; these dots look like they are seeping through the newly applied white paint. We believe it to be mold, but it could be a close cousin. All of these things have now, or are in the process of being updated, fixed, and some of them are completely better. The shower, thanks to Tom. The little maintenance man just couldn't quite seal it, but thanks to my handy dandy almost husband, he was able to caulk, re-caulk, and caulk again until that shower no longer gave up the ghost. I mean water. This is our home-sweet-home, our soon to be safe haven from the world! Despite all of the things about this first apartment that are a little bit on the icky side, I love our home. We are starting to move things in, and hang calenders, clocks, and pictures on the wall. I can not wait to completely make our apartment our home.

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My little brother Timmy has become quite the football star and it is so much fun to watch him play Oakdale Football. I feel so much pride (the good kind) when I watch him play and I hear the crowd yell out his name. I love how regardless of the amount of touchdowns, yards, or first downs he gets, or the amount of newspaper and TV interviews, fans and friends that pat his back, shake his hand, or congratulate him after a game, he still always looks for my mom, dad, and siblings to give us a hug. Timmy is such a fun guy and I love him tons. There is nothing I love more than being with the people I love most, and here's a picture of most of us after the BEAUTIFUL win over Sonora (our long and undying rival) Jenn and her family were in Utah and Kevin is obviously in Montana serving our Father in Heaven, and Kell and Talmage's kids weren't up to the long drive and cold, cooooold night up in the foothills.

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I love my life. I love what is has challenged me with so far, and how I am continually growing from the life lessons it offers.

update on the weddin plannin

what's on today's blog menu? stressin with a side of stress! i can remember a couple specific details about my summer semester 2007. i was an RA this semester at lamprecht hall. i was able to work (aka play) with three of my dearest friends: jenn, lindsaywitt, and brandi jo. most of the memories i hold of that semester are happy times (we'll skip the long gray spot in there from drama, drama, and more drama because that's not the reason for this blog!!) however, for some reason there has been a memory of mine that i had long since forgotten about - that has since reappeared!

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i can remember sitting in the lamprecht hall office with my head resident jenn. we were talking about extremely important things i'm sure. things like diet pepsi tasting better than diet coke, the annoying maker-outer couples, and the obnoxious heat. however, those are not the memories i'm recalling with perfect clarity. i am remembering when my dear friend brandi jo came walking heavily into the office, backpack on, hair done, and ready for class looking stressed and to her patience end. i remember jenn and i turning to look at her as she said, "somebody told me that if you can get through the engagement and wedding planning, you and your fiance can get through anything. is this true??" honestly, i wondered what the big deal was! i wondered what in the heck can be that hard about plannin a party? the most important part of planning is done right? temple preparedness and appointments? i didn't think much more about that statement other than she's got to be a little bit crazy.. and needed a diet pepsi. pronto speed. HOWEVER, here i am two years later remembering her stressed out face and voice as if she just walked into the office a couple of minutes ago.

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i know it is ridiculous for me to complain. everyone has been there or will be there at some point in their lives. tom is being absolutely amazingly and perfectly supportive and as helpful as he can be while living an hour and 40 minutes away. i have been offered help from my amazing mom, sisters, cousins, aunts, future mother in law, sisters in law, and friends. i thank you all for that! it's looking at the reception as a whole that makes my eyes want to roll back and sleep until it's december 17th and my tom is home! things i'm thinking about daily: budget, cake, decorations, color schemes, guest list, tables, set up, take down, lighting, flowers, dress, hair, make up, shoes, veil, his ring, videographer, slide show, engagement pictures, engagement outfits, centerpieces, table clothes, invitations, DJ, food, who will make the food, dessert, candy, candles, life-sized kevin picture, marriage certificate, and transportation. it is a TON to think about - especially while working full time and having to meet sales goals. (which by the way.. brag moment for me.. i am at the top of the teller list at my store for my sales, which translates into i am ranked 22 out of 255 tellers in my region, have only been with the bank for a little bit over a year ... aka, i rock.) so i am a busy little face!!

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most importantly is the temple is already booked for tom and i. we did that first thing! luckily, oh so luckily for me my mama is going to be my photographer. why? because i think she's the best and she thinks shes the best, she'll be free to hire, she'll get the shots i want, and she has to go to the temple anyway so i don't have to bribe her to go. she'll also be taking our engagement pictures and then my bestie 79 melly told me she'd design my invitations so that's freakin rockin too! my dress will be decided on and in my possession by this coming thursday, my cousin christy is doing my cake cause she's m-a-zing, and cortney is picking out the "bridesmaids" dresses. i really am in better shape when i really start writing down all of the things that i don't have to worry about anymore.

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i am determined to enjoy whatever part of life i'm apart of. i have realized that i have a habit of wishing away time. when i was 14 i couldn't wait til i was 16 and could finally drive. once i was 16 i couldn't wait to be graduated high school. once out of high school and into college i couldn't wait til fall semester when i got to come home. once i was home i couldn't wait to go back to school. once back in school i couldn't wait to graduate and have a full time job. now i look back to when i was 14 and wonder what in the world the big rush was all about! the things i thought were so important then -- well honestly i don't even remember what they were! i don't want to look back once tom and i have been married for 10 years and we have babies and work, bills and stress and wish that we were simply engaged and back to planning and dreaming about the rest of our lives. i truly want to enjoy this time that i have to get to know him, to talk wedding and reception plans with him. i am counting down the days until i am his bride, but trying to remember patience and being happy to be his fiance!

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oh, and brandi, sorry for not understanding then. i do now.